HOW TO FIND OUT A TRUE FRIEND? 9 CHARACTERISTICS OF A GOOD FRIEND.

As it is said by a wise man “Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure” hence one must possess faithful friends in life as best friends. One may have countless friends during the best time of life but as we know only a few friends remain during hardship. These few friends who are continuously supporting and motivating you are the ones to keep forever in life. This is not the only reason for having good friends but also because you need a supporting system other than family in life. Any relationship can get very monotonous and one needs to maintain space in the relationship. Friends are the perfect getaway to have fresh air in life so that you can always start with a fresh mind in your relationships. Also one must have someone to talk about everything and anything at any time.

        This article will share 10 most important characteristics out of which most of these you can find in a true friend. Remember in order to have a good friend one much himself possess the good qualities of a good friend.

1- Attentive Listener (You hear their problem without judging them.)

A good friend will always hear you out attentively and calmly. Often because of the stress and chaos in life due to family, neighbors, career, and god knows what not, one wants to speak out their mind and heart aloud. At the same time, we want nobody to hear, but somebody to listen without framing any opinion and judgment. A true friend will be there to help you vent out to feel lighter and better.

2- Trustworthy and good adviser.

We share our secrets and discuss very personal things with friends for suggestions and advice.  Those friends who can’t keep your secrets safe can never be faithful to you. Good friends will never break your trust also they will give you genuine advice even if it is the hard way. Those friends who try to be sweeter then honey are the most poisonous ones. A trustworthy friend will always warn you and try to tell you the truth. 

3- Helpful and selfless (You don’t ask expect anything in return.)

Good friends help each other that does not mean helping in cheating, hurting, bullying, or any other wrong activities. Instead, they help you to become a better person and choose the right way of living and doing things. Good friends are like a fruit tree which bears lots of fruits. Fruits of good quality, good habits which they share with you and in return needs no personal benefits but just the nourishment of faithfulness and honesty.  A true friend love for you is unconditional and all they want is you to grow and be happy.

4- Problem solver (You don’t solve your friend’s problem but you help them to solve.)

Understand the difference, if you are solving your friend’s problem every time they need you other than helping them to solve, you are actually making them dependent on you. If they face a similar type of problem in future they will call you out for the help.

My friend Nikita and I discuss every article I write. We discuss all the points I am going to include in the article but sometimes it becomes very tough for me to find appropriate words or para to make my article more reader-friendly as I want my audience to connect with me.  Sometimes I also run out of ideas and ask her for the help, she never writes for me but at the same time she always there helping me to think out of the box, read more to get ideas.

Know the difference between these two. It is very easy to do their work but it is very tough to help them to become self-reliant to actually do work on their own.

5- Clear every misconceptions, don’t include any third into it.

 Every relationship has ups and downs so is in friendship. There are times when a certain misconception leads to endless fights and arguments and that is totally fine if it is happening between two. A good friend always tries to resolve the matter between themselves and don’t include any third person into it because that leads to trust issues and you might not say it but stays within you.

I still remember my best friend and I had some conversation about something she didn’t like or say was hurt from it. It was unintentional, I didn’t know that it will hurt her but anyways she didn’t say that to me and opened about it with another friend of her, then this friend yelled at me to hurt her sentiments. That day I can never forget because for me it was purely unintentional and it wasn’t in my knowledge that a thing like this would hurt her. All things apart, what hurt me the most was that she shows that she is fine with it when she totally wasn’t and included a third person whom I barely knew.

With all this all I want to say is never include any other person in between your problems and friendship, this will turn things only worst because then it questions your trust on each other. Try to resolve in between don’t let anybody enter your space and ruin it.

6- Don’t get jealous with success.

A friend of mine one day called me and told me that she got a scholarship for her higher education. As she was my best friend normally I should be happy for her, but to my surprise, I wasn’t. I was even jealous of her, I knew at that time that it wasn’t a good feeling to have and I was even cursing myself to have this kind of feelings. There were numerous emotions going inside me but I couldn’t control them

Maybe because I was very low in that point of my carrier and despite countless efforts, I couldn’t able to succeed or to make a mark at that time. But whatever the reason would be, you cannot get jealous of your best friends achievements. Do you?

After a few weeks, I understood that I wasn’t jealous of her but of her achievements, I was envying her, I wanted that happiness that she had in her voice. Always understand the difference between jealousy and envy. There is a very thin line between these two.

If you are getting jealous of your friend ask what you are exactly getting jealous of. Him or his achievements?

If you are not happy because he is happy, you should think again about your friendship but if you are not happy because of his achievement then this is totally fine. It is a human tendency that one wants best for himself, and when he sees his best friend doing better than him, a feeling of insecurity arises. At this moment start thinking about why you are guys best friends, what makes you so happy around him and recall the things he did for you in the past. You will start feeling better.

7- Understand before telling.

A good friend is one who understands what you want to say even before telling because that’s the bond you two have made in all these years.

Whenever your friend wants anything sometimes they ask for it bluntly but sometimes because our life is so busy everyone is running after something, to become something or just running in life because they are busy in their family, it got them conscious and hesitant to ask for a favor from you.

I also have a friend who sometimes asks for the favor but sometimes if the work she wants me to do requires my time and effort a little more. she starts stammering while talking and she keeps on calling and talk nonstop on unnecessary things, this is how I understand that she might need help and before her asking for the favor I myself offer her the help.

8- Speak about fun you had together in the past:

In this highly competitive life, we don’t have time to celebrate things because we are so busy with our work. We want to give best to our family and for that, we have to make some extra efforts. Somewhere in between all this, we forget ourselves and always be in this constant state of stress. In this situation a friend comes to your rescue, as you share all the fun things you had in the past, it gives a nostalgic feeling and even for some time but it makes you forget all your tensions and worries of your life. What else you want.

Because I believe in quality over quantity I only have two friends. With these two, I have such great memories. Whenever I miss them, I recall all those fun things we had together in the past. We were pretty much crazy in college back then.

So whenever I dive back into the past and remember all those crazy stuff we did, I call them the right way and we all laugh on it that is how I make my dull and boring day full of happiness and blissful

Maybe we cannot bring those days back but in this highly busy schedule and competitive life we can talk to each other and feel that we are still alive

9- Do not give opinion until required

A good friend knows your strengths and your weaknesses. He knows what you are capable of and what makes you hesitant. He knows it all. If you are giving him an opinion on not doing things when he is doing that thing with utmost confidence, you’re doing it all wrong. He will not like it. I am not doubting your intentions, of course, you want to help and you don’t want him to suffer but by doing this you manipulate your friend’s decision and resist him to do mistake by taking a decision of his own.

A mistake is the best teacher, with it you become wiser. It also teaches you how to manage it if this ever happens again in the future. Give your opinion when you’re asked for it, other than that just support your friend in every decision of him and always be in your friend’s side because if he falls you should be there to hold him.

A good friend is a bliss. A friend is not only who laughs with you, parties with you, go on an adventure with you etc. but a friend is the one who is with you in your low times who helps you in overcoming your fears, and your insecurities. A friend is one who is as motivated as you to achieve your dreams and will do whatever it takes for you to achieve it.

These were some characteristics of a good friend. If you want to add some more to the list .please comment down below and we see if that can be added.

Thanks for reading. 🙂

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